NO WAY, ROSÉ
The craziest thing alcohol made me do? Decide to quit drinking.
It was the morning after I decided to endure the entire red eye from Lihue Airport to LAX intoxicated. I took a brief nap after we arrived at home and rolled over to tell my boyfriend---who has never had a drop of alcohol in all his 24 years on this planet---"You don't have to say or do anything, but I think I'm finally gonna stop drinking". Silence after that as we both went back to sleep.
And here I am, exactly 1 year later, to say that I kept my word.
But what does that break down into? Ahh, let's take a look:
Oh, god, and the text messages and selfies? I saved myself from 98,473,209,470,296 (rough estimate) drunk texts to my friends that look like this:
I saved myself from 50 to 100 Instagram posts taken from a bathroom with the flash ON and throwing up a gang sign. You know who you are. Actually, you don't know who you are and I'm here to tell you that you are doing it. Look out for poor quality photos, bad lighting, red eyes, tongues out, glass of rosé, posting nearly identical photos 10 minutes apart, etc.
I saved myself from unnecessary conflicts with my boyfriend, my friends, and random people that also patronize the establishment at which I am drinking. I saved myself from countless F-bombs and words that I don't mean, but still hurt...
I exchanged all of that for:
- Early mornings spent at the squat rack getting my booty right and tight. Apparently workouts are super effective when you lose the sauce. DUH. Also my 25 year old body can't bounce back like my 21 year old body could. Plus I want to look as good as Jane Fonda at 70 and a vodka soda WILL NOT GET ME THERE. (Workout Post coming soon!)
- I sleep like a bear. In a cave somewhere and full of food. No, I sleep so soundly and wake up not feeling like death.
- Being 1000% more productive at work. (Hello! I'm starting TWO businesses, fam)
- Going to Parties with Hunter and explaining over and over again "We don't drink. No, I'm not pregnant. Yes, seriously."
- Staying at those parties and realizing how silly I must have once looked.
- We maybe go to 1 party every 3 months...
- Oh and all those things that you thought you could only say after 1 or 2 glasses of Pinot Grigio? Finding the sober courage to say them anyway. This one is super liberating! It turns out I still have the balls to say what I feel. Keep in mind, we all still need to be tactful when being honest.
Thanks for helping me celebrate my 1 year Soberthday! If you're wondering how I did it, I did not go through AA nor did I find Jesus. I got this book on audio (obviously) and boom I was done.
The glass may be half full, but that doesn't mean you have to drink it!